There is a reason why the coin flip has been used to settle disputes for centuries and that is because the coin never lies. The beauty of the coin is that it shows no favoritism towards either side, it can be used to settle virtually any problem at any time, and you will always be able to find one on hand. Now, before I go any further it is important to explain that the coin can only actually settle a real dispute. The coin is never used to see if you should exit your eight story hotel room through the door or the window, or whether or not to wrestle an alligator, because there is no real conflict between the two options and the answer you want is perfectly clear to you (in other words, you want to wrestle the alligator). Therefore, the coin should only be used to choose one of two realistic options.
I regrettably learned the power of the coin the hard way while in college. One morning at 3 am, my roommate, his girlfriend, Amanda and I were debating whether we should go to the diner or get some sleep before our early classes. We flipped a coin, which suggested that we sleep. Though until then I have been a strict follower of the coin, I was upset with the outcome so much that I decided to give an emotional monologue about how we “cannot live our lives by the coin” and how the coin was “the worst idea we ever had.”
I was a fool and I recant that entire speech.
The four of us ended up going against the coin and had perhaps the worst diner experience we had ever had in our lives. I will eat almost anything, and I especially will eat anything that I ordered and am paying for, but my French onion soup, usually my favorite dish at that diner, tasted like how my four-year-old moccasins smelled after walking a mile in a rainstorm. The other dishes had similar problems: the fries were cold, the omelet half cooked. In fact, everyone had a problem with the food except for my roommate. As we sort of ate, but mostly just looked at our food, we patiently waited for our server to come so that we could ask for the check. We had not seen him since we got our food forty-five minutes ago.
Eventually, when he came with the check, my roommate asked for a box for the other half of his chicken wrap. After the server disappeared for almost an additional hour, we decided to leave, wrap in hand. Ultimately, the four of us returned two hours later, tired and dissatisfied, and we only had ourselves to blame for rejecting the coin. While this may not seem like it was a total disaster, I’m just grateful we chose this situation to not listen to the coin rather than a serious one with serious consequences. I have never gone against the coin since, and have heard too many disaster stories to even consider.
What I have learned in life is that there are basically two people in this world: those who listen to the coin and those who are doomed to live a life of misfortune and regret. It is not important to use the coin for every decision you have, but it is extremely important that you never go against the coin. Below I have made a brief list of those who listened to the coin, and those who openly rejected its wisdom.
| Followed coin blindly | Went against coin |
|---|---|
| John D. Rockefeller | The Owner of Hostess |
| Thomas Jefferson | George W. Bush |
| Every lottery winner | Every Jets fan |
Many believe that the coin flip is fate. Maybe it is fate, or maybe a butterfly flaps its wings in China and makes your quarter lands on tails. Fate or not, the importance of the coin should not be taken lightly. The coin defies logic and reason to no explanation, and while I cannot guarantee that always listening to the coin will bring you fame, power, and success, I can guarantee that it will steer you away from disaster, misfortune, and chaos. I can think of no better way to end then to leave you with my new favorite poem:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
I flipped a coin to make my choice
And that made all the difference.
-Robert Frost, had he flipped a coin
Call ! by Rob is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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